rayovac1,

We have not seen a post since January, please stop in and let us know how you are.

(If a member has not read this amazing story of recovery, please do.
I just finished and am so happy I found this thread!)

xxx please do not reply to improper posts - just Notify the Moderator xxx

Ray,
I, like you, am a professional person who found myself in the throes of a never ending cycle of pills and self-loathing. I remember being so sick from withdrawal that I felt it was punishment for taking the pills in the first place (I am not sure who I thought was punishing me, since I am an atheist)anyway, after 3 years of chasing pills and manipulating and lying to get money, I went to treatment, at this treatment center, they gave me Suboxone, I am telling you. it was like a miracle drug, for the first time in so very long, I felt like a human being again. I stayed in treatment for 30 days then entered an extended care facility for 3 more months, when I left there, I just KNEW life was back on track and smiling and laughing came easy again. Well, it was about a year when I got back on the road, heading to my own hell, I guess I remembered the loneliness before, because this time I took my fiancee with me (he never liked pills until I shared some with him)together, our world got darker and darker. Together we were able to keep taking pills for about 2 years, with periods of intense withdrawals ( I will never forget the first time I saw him pill sick, I felt so responsible and so miserable) Well, after that I made a decision to enter a methadone clinic, I know there are people who think that I have just walked into a legal way to obtain my drug of choice, so be it, what I think I have found is a way out of the rabbit hole. I won't bore you anymore, I just wanted you to know, that you are NOT, I repeat, NOT alone..I am here, and I know, trust me, I know what you are feeling.

What happened to your fiance?
Are you in a methadone maintenance clinic together?

What Ray is feeling is the joy of real life, which comes from being opiate-free for 3 1/2 years. The way he accomplished that was he had a burning desire to get his life back, and was willing to go to any lengths to do so. If you read all his posts (which I suggest) you'll see the courage, honesty and willingness that got him there.

I know opiate replacement therapy (sub and methadone) have helped some people. But beware, it often appeals to the addict's desire to avoid pain/withdrawal. I can tell you from hard experience, there is NO WAY to break an opiate addiction pain-free. You have to pay the price, either up-front like Ray (cold-turkey) or on the installment plan (tapering). But pay you will...but hey, what is your life worth?

Once again, the power is in the decision and the absolute commitment. With that, you can do anything. Without it, you'll keep looking for shortcuts, the easy way out, ort, etc. Face the truth and do the deal. You're more than worth it

Thanks for this great quote. I am definitely scared of the pain and torture of withdrawl. I do want the easy way around it. I wish there was one.

I wish there was one too, RubyRose. Instead, it's like wrestling a 300 pound gorilla with a bad attitude. Thank goodness there's strength in numbers, and if you get enough people together you can kick his butt. Good luck and God's speed in whatever path you choose.

Just thought I'd bring this back to the top of the list. Thanks a lot "DrFred" for screwing this whole section up.

The post on 3/16 from golden1 was dead on.
Most addicts who turn to replacement therapy are most definitely looking to avoid w/d. That is the whole purpose of it. However, they should enter that arena with the right thought process. replacement therapy is meant to allow you to be w/d free while getting other areas of your life in order. The piper still has to be paid, and with replacement therapy, you get the installment plan!
I don't care to think that there are weak or stonrg willed people, as each person has their own set of circumstances, that are unique, so I applaud anyone that is able to get the monkey off their back......regardless of the route they choose to get there.
It doesn't make one weak beacuse they chose replacement therapy over cold turkey, so for those of you in that boat, just be proud of the steps you have taken, and the progress you have made.
Best to all!

One monkey off my back to be replaced by a gorilla-PAIN-the only reason one should or would take any of these meds.It is lifechange not something one should walk into lightly.You will pay if you play.It is not a game.Having said that-replacement or cold turkey-any path you choose should be monitered by a physician.Be smart and honest with yourself.